19. After 65, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you're probably dead.20. Always be yourself because the people who matter don't mind and the ones who mind don't matter.21. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.And REMEMBER..."POLITICIANS AND DIAPERS SHOULD BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE SAME REASON"She hurried to the pharmacy to get medication, got back to her car and found that she had locked her keys inside.The woman found an old rusty coat hanger left on the ground. She looked at it and said, "I don't know how to use this."She bowed her head and asked God to send her some HELP. Within 5 minutes, a beat-up old motorcycle pulled up,Driven by a bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag. He got off of his cycle and asked if he could help.She said, "Yes, my daughter is sick. I've locked my keys in my car. I must get home.Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car?"He said, "Sure." He walked over to the car, and in less than a minute, the car was. His brief was very singular, keep Hell supplied with heating oil. Failure would result in being incarcerated for thousands of years in a cinema playing a never-ending loop of Rock Hudson movies. Success of course gave him a key to the executive toilets. Beelzebub did not like George W senior.Beelzebub looked around, Human Resources were already picking up the bits of Susan to put back together again, and then his eyes alighted on Encrusted Pus. "Until Susan is returned you'll have to do". "What!" said an alarmed Encrusted, "You're going to show me how to do that thing with your tail?" Beelzebub was swiftly losing what little good humour he had regained. "NO!" he thundered, "Get me George 'bloody' Wanker senior on the phone". Encrusted Pus knew he was on really thin ice. "I can't do that sir". Beelzebub raised himself to his full stature intent on tearing Encrusted limb from limb. Encrusted fully aware of his danger carried on quickly, "George is no longer at Celestial"."Tell me more".
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